you can't miss what you forget.

i found a postcard a friend sent me a while ago - by a while i mean, maybe 5 years!

this is what he wrote at the end:

" again, i do hope you are well. i hope things have gotten better for you in a spiritual sense. God is faithful for those who seek him."

i was always so strong in my relationship with God. i somehow knew how to follow God and balance everything else. (this seems hard to me now) something happened to me in college. i went home for a christmas break and came back another person. (obviously events led to this "demise") i remember telling God that i needed a break. so, i took a break. people that knew me were shocked and worried, and rightly so. (this is where the postcard starts making sense...)

i have been trying to recover from this break for so long. all i want sometimes is to be the person i once was. i try, but it never lasts. i finally realized that person is not me anymore and most importantly that it's okay. God doesn't love me any less or more than he did then. that is so hard to really understand, so hard.

God is faithful for those who seek him. He is faithful. He remains the same. why can i not really, really believe this.