the dream is over.

i have noticed that a lot of people in chicago talk to themselves... and by a lot... i mean, i come across at least 1 a day. these people are literally talking out loud and even making gestures with their face and hand. for instance, today i was sitting across from a lady on the bus who was talking so loud that at first i thought she was on a cell phone... but, no... she was talking to... i dont know. it wasnt like this lady was weird or homeless or something like that. she looked like someones mom. it was weird. last night, on the other hand, was a different story... so i was sitting in a coffee shop (surprise surprise) and this older dude sits next to me. i thought it was a little weird seeing that there were tons of available "comfy" chairs... but i kept reading my book and eavesdropping on a blind date... so then all of the sudden i hear this guy talking. i turned toward him because i couldnt tell if he was talking to me. he wasnt. all he kept talking about was "getting the money" and other mafia-ish things. it was strange and made me feel extremely uncomfortable. then he got up and put some sugar and cinnamon on his hands and licked it. it was funny because i wasnt the only watching this guy. i watched others around making insane faces, almost like they were insulted he was in the place. this coffee shop is sort of in a snobby area, so if anyone "different" walks in, i noticed they all stare at them disgusted until they leave.

chicago life is getting better. i still dont "like" it here, but i dont want to throw myself out of a building anymore. i started running constantly this week and i think its helping. i have been running 6 to 7 miles, which means im out of the house for at least an hour. its been good. i am thinking more clearly- for someone like me, this is a good thing.

i started reading catcher in the rye. it has taken me about 3 years to do this. i dont know why but i could never get into it. i must say, i like it- as trendy as it is to like, i do. i love how im reading into holden caulfields mind or something. im not done, but so far its a "gorgeous" book.